Today has continued a trend. It wasn’t a good one.

I’m missing adult company. Having someone around to ‘shoot the shit’ with. Having another being around me. Not being alone.

Things have happened today that have brought the darkness to the fore. I’ve started thinking about a possible future that I don’t like, and I don’t know how to deal with that.

The instant reaction is to lash out, and start defending the territory. Which is what I’ve done to a certain extent, but it made me feel no better.

We recorded the latest episode of our podcast tonight and for 34 minutes I was able to forget everything but then when I finished there was the emptiness again. No one to share with, to talk to, to be with. 

Then the darkness returned… 

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